Saturday, May 27, 2006

The Tough Guiltless

A few days ago, I was sitting in McDonald’s for breakfast (it’s deliciously fat) and watched as a bum battled an employee.

Employee:  How may I help you?
Bum:  This is my receipt.  You forgot to give me my hashbrown.
Employee:  Oh.  I’m sorry.  Here you go.

5 minutes later…

Bum:  Here’s my receipt.  You forgot to give me my coffee.
Employee:  But this is not the same receipt as your last one.
Bum:  So?  I have the receipt.

And this went on for some time, until this said employee finally lost it and told the bum to go away and stop scamming them.  This caused the bum to explode and yell about seeing the manager and complain about poor customer service.

It’s amazing what people are capable of when they’ve gotten themselves into a state where they can’t apply common morals.  It’s sad (and annoying at times, especially if it’s me being bothered about sponsoring their “trip back home” if only they could get a bus fare of $10 from me.)  However, this homeless lady was pretty cunning and gutsy!  As far as bums go, she was a tough one.

It makes me wonder… would I die of starvation if I became homeless?  I might be one of those weak ones who sit in the corner with a coffee cup.  How sad.

On another note…

I now know of 5 couples where one person was caught cheating.  And that’s not the scary part for me.  The scary part is that the third person, the home-wrecker, has ceased being the silent person who stays out of the spotlight.  Of the 5 cases I know, 3 of them has had the third person call the wife and tell her to let her husband go.

What is wrong with the world?  Is marriage not serious anymore?  Maybe the 50% of couples who stay together are the couples who haven’t been caught cheating yet?

This is so disturbing.

I might be naïve, but I still hope for the kind of marriage where you grow old together, share everything together, and never love anyone else.  Is that too much to ask?

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Bored

My life has become very anti-climatic.  Maybe this is a good thing.  I probably can’t handle non-stop drama.  But this… is getting a little boring.

I’m tired of going to class everyday to deal with the annoying guy who’s full of himself.

I’m tired of feeling like all I do is go to school, come home, and sleep.

I’m tired of being rejected for jobs, going into depression, and then picking myself up and getting back on track.

I’m tired of being reminded of the ex every so often, suffering from it for a few moments, dwelling for a few moments, and then pushing it out of my mind and moving on to happier thoughts.

All in all… I’m nearly problem-free!

And this means I have nothing to blog about, nothing to complain about, and nothing interesting going on.

Am I addicted to drama?

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Over-thinking

I might be addicted to drama.  Maybe it’s because I’m so used to fighting with people and looking for flaws in them.  I have to stop though.  I’ll never make real friends if I keep thinking they’re fake.

So, in conclusion to my last post, I have realized that I was indeed over-thinking it.  Like Galactichero said, that guy did actually kind of become my best friend, in the sense that he got me out of my house.  

Now I feel guilty about it actually.  Here’s a guy genuinely trying to help me, and I’m getting mad that he’s not holding my hand and keeping me safe from strangers.

So there.  To my friend, I’m sorry.

There’s so much growing up to do.  I can’t believe I’m still a girl who would get mad when a friend leaves me to make my own friends.  Shame on me.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Crushing left and right

As much as I don’t want to come off as a crazy blogger in need of therapy, I realize that some part of me is off. I’m not sane.

Lately, I’ve become really angry at a guy friend who seems to be using me for my car. Most of my class isn’t from Vancouver, so everybody’s been slowly moving away. This guy (let’s name him Shallow for now) suddenly started getting chummy with me after his driving buddy left town. It was an obvious usage of my car, but I let it go since I understand how annoying grocery shopping can get without a car. Then, Shallow proceeded to introduce me to his other friends, since he thought I’d have more to do with them, because I permanently live in Vancouver. So that’s him being nice. But! He then starts inviting me out to events with these new friends and abandoning me when he finds a newer and more interesting person to talk to.

Ok. So I’m a bit jealous. That’s where I’m messed up.

I’m being possessive towards friends like I have a right to be, which I don’t. I can’t tell if I’m just projecting all the anger I have towards the ex onto my innocent guy friends, or if I’m really just being used for my car and rightly angry about it.

Or I have dependency issues. I’m so messed up from trying to refrain from messing up.

A really close guy friend I’ve known for a long time incidentally chatted with me online while I was angry over Shallow. I used to have a crush on this guy friend. Now I can’t tell if I do anymore.

I feel like I’m blindly holding onto anything that I can, because I hate losing people.

It’s so hard to tell who your real friends are when you’re desperately trying to make real friends.