Back to highschool
Inspired by
Caro's online profile blog, here's the story of how high school has revisited my life...
About two months ago, I went to my friend's flute recital. She invited my close group of girl friends from high school and a bunch of other high school people I never really associated with in the past. (I was geeky AND an athlete, so I was pretty much an outcast, save for my girl friends.) After the recital, we started to catch up with said "unknown" high school people, and one guy started paying more attention to me. This was NOT GOOD because the girls and I were actually trying to set one of our group up with him. I'm going to call him
Clueless, for being dumb enough to try to hit on me when one of my best friends might have liked him (and was also present).
That day came and went, and I tried to be friendly to him, but not anything more than that. I refused all invitations for coffee and ignored him a few times when he got too interested in my life. This was also a bad time for him because it was right before
TO was coming to visit me for the first time, and I really couldn't focus on anything else.
A week later, one of the girls mass e-mails everyone and asks, "What's up with
PinkBunny and
Clueless? I'm hearing gossip!" Being anxious to put a stop to any nonsense, I called up the girl and asked her what she had heard. She avoided my questions for a bit, dropped a few names, and ended up telling me that
Clueless declared he likes me. To whom? I have no idea.
Weeks go by without anyone saying anything... then...
The recital girl has a birthday party. The girls all show up and eventually the
Clueless topic comes up. Apparently, someone from the group had told him that I found out that he liked me. (Does this get any more high school?) He thought recital girl was the one that told me, so he called her to yell at her for her lousy secret keeping, when in fact it was the mass e-mail girl who told me. And she DIDN'T hear from recital girl. This is a diagram of how I actually found out:
ME <--> Mass e-mail girl <--> Her boyfriend <--> His best friend from high school <--> Clueless
That's 4 degrees!
This amazes me. People never grow up.
As a result of all this,
- The set-up between Clueless and one of our girls was ruined
- Clueless has been uninvited for all future events (indefinitely), even though I found this whole thing hilarious and would like to see his face when he finds out that everyone knows everything.
- Clueless didn't learn a thing. He still tried to ask me out for coffee in a very weird way. (He made up some story about him being my talent agent. Dude needs a life.)
- I have finally gone through the "High School Experience". I had thought I missed out.
Anyway, I hope this story was interesting. It proves that online profiles are better in at least one way: Less sloppy.
Some things I can't deal with
Today my mother told me, out of nowhere, that
TO looks better than me. Seeing as that's something I would be proud of, I didn't think much of it. (Although it adds to my insecure personality.) However, she continued to add that my younger sister looks better than me. Then, as if that didn't send me straight to self-esteem-problem-land, she said that my sister's boyfriend is also better looking than me.
I'm never going to have a problem with being Narcissistic from now on for sure.
Even though I don't expect my mother to be perfect, that's some weird parenting skills right there. I'm not sure I like her much right now.
Oh wait! She said I have "the brains". Great! That reeeaaally helps.
Snowing
The view from my window.
The funny thing about Vancouver is that as soon as it snows, the whole city shuts down. My sister got out of going to UBC today because of snow! I remember hoping for exams to be canceled back in UofT, but no storm stops anything in the East Coast.
Don't get me wrong, I'm a perfect Vancouverite. I'm not leaving the house today. Walking in snow is way too much work for me.
TO is coming again!
For my early Sagittarius birthday! So excited!
I don't really want to turn 24, but I'm very happy that he's coming to see me.
Blogger Beta confuses the hell out of me
What's with the new Blogger "widget" scripting language?!?!? I finally learned Javascripting and CSS... and now they introduce the new style. I can't get my Recent Comments to work with the new system! And I can't function without my Recent Comments!
Why???
I used to blog better
There come a time in every blogger’s blogging life (What? Only me? Aww…) when you realize that you don’t really have much to say anymore, and you look back on your old posts to reminisce and silently boast about how you’ve changed for the better.
Sadly, I used to blog better.
I used to have paragraphs and sentences, and I almost made sense most of the time. Now? Not so much. Now I’m blogging some mythic nonsense one-liner regarding guilt, and about my blogging skills.
Seriously though, for a second here, how are you supposed to deal with guilt? When you know that you seriously screwed up and everything’s your fault? Then you’re just at the mercy of the person you shouldn’t have messed with. And if that person does nothing to punish you? THAT is the hard part. Then you really have to comprehend that you messed up and nobody’s going to make it go away.
I miss being punished for my mistakes.
…
Did you know that the word “blog” comes from “web log”? I didn’t. This is interesting. It’s almost self-explanatory, yet I never got it, nor did I ever question it. Shows how ignorant I can be.
…
I’m turning 24 soon. My mother was married when she was 24. Before anyone panics, I’m not looking for marriage. Not now, anyway. I actually have a weird problem: Instead of me worrying about me getting married, my mom’s been saying off-hand things that insinuate I’m desperate. The thing is… I think something’s up with her. She keeps saying that I want to get married, but I never bring the topic up. I suspect that she’s secretly worried that I’ll never find anyone who can tolerate my wacky personality. Or she used to be worried until TO became a prominent part of my life. Now I have no idea what she’s talking about. Is she worried that I’ll scare TO away? Or is she worried that I’ll elope with TO? She’s a mystery.
…
A side note on the guilt thing… I wish I was Catholic so I could go to confession and have someone forgive me for my sins. (Hopefully I don’t offend anyone with this next sentence. *crossing fingers*) However, going to confession and having your sins forgiven by a third person seems very self-gratifying of the sinner. So I can wrong person A, seriously repent, confess, and be forgiven! Person A doesn’t get anything out of it. That’s kind of unfair. (I actually don’t know the exact procedure of confession, so I could be way off base. In which case, to whomever I offend, I apologize, and please correct me.)
…
It’s become apparent that my current demo reel is getting me nowhere with the job search. Therefore, it is time for me to improve it. It’s almost good enough. This is incredibly frustrating. I don’t even have a good excuse to be depressed, since I’ve done that before and it leads nowhere. So, I really just need to start my new stuff and stop wallowing in guilt and shame and disgrace.
I’m really big on the self-loathing today. How nonproductive of me.
Guilt
“A feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.”
I shouldn’t lie. I’m so ashamed of myself. I need to be punished.
Nope, still a loser
Rejection happens fast. I am still the Queen of Loser Land. All hail me!
This is the re-beginning of my sulking days.
My First Interview
GAH!!!!!! *panic!*
Phone interview tomorrow! ... or today, actually...
At least this means I'm ending my reign as the Queen of Loser Land. (It was questionable there for a while...)
GAH! I have to stop with the self-deprecating before the actual interview. Fun while making friends... not so useful for impressing an HR lady.
