Thinking too much and too little at the same time

I can’t sleep.
I’m lying in bed with a thousand thoughts running through my head. There’s no way I can fall asleep. Hopefully, I can exhaust myself to sleep by blogging everything out. I’ll edit tomorrow. This is going to be a mess.

The limbo must end.
I gave myself 2 months to relax after my non-stop 16-months program. Now it’s gotten to the point where I can feel myself rotting into stupidity. I can’t just sit around and do nothing anymore. I’m starting to be disgusted by myself.

I didn’t really “relax”.
Somehow, I managed to pick up a summer job as a print designer while I was in my limbo. This amazes me. I didn’t feel rested at all.

I’m in my dreaming phase.
Recently, I’ve been re-reading my novels like mad. Wouldn’t it be nice to be involved in a whirl-wind romance with a corporate tycoon? Or be a part of a genius team that could save the world from alien invasion? Or be a femme fatale that works along with a super hot hero with magical powers?

Romance is dead.
After re-reading many romance novels, I’ve come to realize that I’m anti-romance right now. Nothing’s going to be as exciting as fiction. And I’m not going to come across any of these stories’ incredible heroes. They’re fiction for a reason. They don’t exist. I need to stop reading these. I’m starting to give up on romance.

New beginnings are killer.
My sister’s boyfriend just moved to Toronto for his master’s degree. This makes me miss new beginnings. The first week of school or a job are the most exciting. Nobody really knows me, so I can pretend to be super outgoing and somehow step out of my introverted shell for a while. I really like meeting new people and getting to know them. The possibilities for new friendships are so exciting. Which is also why new beginnings are so dangerous; I can’t remember one scenario where I moved to a different city or started at a new school or a new job… and didn’t totally lose interest in whoever I was supposed to be in love with at the time.

I’m so fickle. I hope my sister’s boyfriend isn’t like that.

The Age of Narcissism.
I skimmed an article about this. With the onslaught of technology, people love themselves too much. There are too many self-taken pictures online. We are all loving ourselves to doom. When I read this, my first reaction was, “Good thing I resisted MySpace,” but the truth is, I was just about to get an account this week.

Gosh, I’m so average and predictable. I’m one of those people that get surveyed as a ‘General Public’. Great. I’m a drone.

I'm going to regret this.
Tomorrow morning, I'm going to read this and be amazed at how pessimistic and dim I am when I can't sleep.

posted by PinkBunny @ 4:18 AM