At the brink of nothing
This Friday will be the last day of class for me. I’ll have my work all done for presentation. And I’ll have… nothing… to look forward to.I was told that film companies won’t need 3D effects artists until late fall. So this gives me 3-4 months to float in my limbo and stress myself out. With the constant taunting from my parents (“We told you this class was useless!”) and the competition of a classmate who got offered a huge contract already (because he’s a genius), I should have a blast.
It doesn’t help that everything went wrong in this class. The teacher turned out to be quite clueless. I became smarter than him by week 3. The school promised contracts and opportunities (verbally, of course, those cunning pricks) but delivered nothing.
So here I am. Jobless, loveless, and losing my confidence.
If I could only get my foot in the door, I know I can work my way up.
Now I just need people to get off my back! I can’t work with half the people expecting overnight success and the other half preparing for my failure.
It also doesn’t help that I’m 23 years old. In this big mess of culture clashes I live in, I should be independent, but I should live with my family until I get married, but I should support myself, but I should support my parents, but I should be married in the next 2 years, but I personally hate marriage deadlines, and people are setting me up, and people are worried I’ll never find someone, and people I don’t like are in love with me, and I have no idea what love is anymore…. GRRR!!!
And I’m rambling.
---
Okay. Baby steps.
First I get my stuff done. Then I worry.
Denial. What a good way to handle things.
posted by PinkBunny @ 2:34 PM
5 Comments:
Yeah, you were rambling.
Marriage is an outdated institution. Why buy the cow when you can drink out of the carton in the supermarket?
This is what is generally called tough love... I also call it "Cramming my foot so far up someone's ass they're a legwarmer":
You need to focus what you want to do, where, build your portfolio, and pretend to be me. Just write a letter and explain why the place you want to work at can't afford to not hire you. Get your references lined up. Maybe make a small 3d effects film or something to show off.
Or just do what you did for the first few weeks after getting dumped, and feel sorry for yourself, hide in your house and watch TV.
I was already planning on making a short film to showcase my abilities. It's just that I don't need 3 months to do so. I can do it in 1.
And the letter... that would require some much-needed self-confidence. Which I lack. But I guess I could channel you, G. Might be fun.
Ouch on rubbing in my vegetative state there! It was a one time thing! And TV is fun.
Channel me. I am a force of nature.
You don't need to HAVE self-confidence, you just need to project an IMAGE of self confidence. You very well might be a worthless piece of shit [...], but if they think you're solid gold they're still going to hire you. They know what you tell them, what your references tell them, and what they can glean from elsewhere, which is very little. Tell them what helps you.
There is a mouse looking at me...
just when you start to wonder whether or not you should do something, do it. make that video, write a hot-shot letter, stand on your head in front of the office you want to work for, whatever. these people don't know you yet. there's absolutely nothing to lose with being bold and confident...
roar.
(yes, i'm deliriously tired.)
So it's one of those cases where if I act long enough, I might eventually turn into something good?
Or at least come off good.
Which must be some kind of good.
And I'm still rambling.
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