Harder than I thought
You’d think, after nearly half a year of on-and-off heartbreak with a guy, I’d be able to hate him or something. I wish I could.Gaaarrrr!!! It’s driving me nuts.
I’ve been a good girl so far. I’m on day 4. It’s been way harder than I predicted. I had thought I was numb by now. Apparantly not. Apparantly my mind thinks I should relive all my good memories while I sleep.
The mind… messed up it is. (Yoda-talk!)
I do realize that my wishy-washy-ness is driving me a little nutty. Notice my incoherency.
T’is the vortex… (ooooooh)
…
Ok ok. Seriously now.
I finally got the breakup book that Jenn recommended a while ago: “It’s called breakup because it’s broken”. It’s pretty cool. It constantly reminds me to rely on my friends, but NOT yammer on until they also break up with me.
This makes me very self-conscious. As if I wasn’t self-conscious enough, being rejected and all.
But anyway, I was rejected five months ago. The recent event of re-rejection is just because of my stupidity, so I guess it’s about time I finally shut up about it.
Day 5 tomorrow!
It’s like sticking needles into myself everyday. Fun!
But if I didn’t do this, someone else would stick needles in me. So at least after a while I will see that I’m the one harming myself, and… stop.
---
Who needs drugs? I’m crazy on my own.
posted by PinkBunny @ 11:25 PM
4 Comments:
It's nice that we always remember the good... but remember the bad and why it didn't work. It'll fuel your motivation :)
talking about break up with friends = NO NO! - unless very very important
I know... whenever I find myself thinking, "Wow he was so nice sometimes," I stop myself and remember the many times we fought.
I can't wait for the bad memories to totally take over the good ones, so that I don't dwell. Or for it to not matter anymore.
Sometimes things just don't work out and there's nothing I could've done to help?
nah there are no bad memories to take over the good
just realization that it won't work, you're different people now
look at it like that, and you're golden
I'll try that. Thanks.
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